"Mom. I love you."

I started doing laundry at 3 pm on a Friday and didn't stop until 1 pm on a Saturday, with the exception of five hours of sleep. All the while packing for an overnight camping trip for my entire family of five. The whole morning the kids were super excited to go see Roots of Creation and I was stressing about how much I had to do before we could leave. Which was a disproportionate amount, considering the hours I had already put into the project. I kept thinking, "Once I leave its going to be smooth sailing....just got to get them strapped down in the car."

Amongst a litter of children and mayhem, I packed every little thing I needed and got the laundry well under control.. Getting distracted by fist fights and requests to "wipe my butt please? I wiped three times and its still comin' up brown!!" Or better yet, no request to wipe ass but a holler of "Mom!! Come look at my poop! It looks like a puppy!!" Before I can answer that another squabble ensues as the other sister tries to flush it before the pooper can show off her prize. Constant singing and tv blasting and fights over my phone and my laptop getting kicked over. Me screaming, "Get the fuck out of my house NOW!!" I was so frazzled by the time we were actually rolling down the road, that I didn't even want to go anymore.

The fights from the back seat were ridiculous. "Mom, her arm is touching my arm." "Mom!! Her hair keeps touching me." I am sure there were more but some of it is blocked out for sanity purposes. While they were stressing me out in the outside world, I was in my own head....worrying about keeping track of my kids in a crowd of potential kidnappers. The irony here is that while these little girls whine and drive me crazy, with no apparent thought of how badly it is stressing me out, I am imagining how devastating my life would be without them.

We picked up daddy, (my king and savior), on the way and finally arrived at Julie's house. The kids started playing drums and rattles and singing. I asked Julie if she was worried that they were going to break her bongo....she wasn't. I was nervous that they were annoying the other people at the party with their loud singing, drum banging, tambourine shaking, etc. I hovered a bit and then came to grips with the fact that these people were enjoying my children. Immensely.

And then I started enjoying my children, as well. I couldn't go five minutes without someone telling me how amazing they thought my children were. This one hula hoops so well, this one sings so well, this one is so smart....and I felt a twinge of guilt for how short I had been with these amazing children all day!! What would these people think of me kicking them out of their own house or yelling, "I don't want to look at your poop!! I don't care how cute it is!!"

We arrived at the concert and set our blankets up on the grass. The kids started hula hooping and playing with all my friends. There were grown ass people playing "butterfly catcher", a game consisting of one person chasing another person, while trying to catch said person, inside a hula hoop. Girls young and old, rolling in the grass, giggling hysterically. Believe it or not, the best is yet to come.

The music started.

I have always loved Roots of Creation but to watch my kids soak it in with all the wonder of a baby seeing something for the first time, was enough to erase infinity stressful days. Maya was hula hooping exactly in time with the music, pleased as punch at all the impressed faces noticing her mad skills. Isabel was dancing with the beloved Tina and running back and forth to give Julie and Suria, (the coveted new baby), hugs and kisses. And Stella. Just staring at every move that Brett made, humming the tune to herself, and rocking in perfect time with the beat. Right up front. Just like mama.

Maya and Isabel got tired of the scene up front and kept going back to the blanket to do various things like, learn sign language from Sam, or talk about what they wanted to be when they grew up, or whatever else those silly adult ladies could come up with to entertain my children. Let me tell you, they came up with alot.

But Stella. All she wanted to do was go back to study Brett's every little finger pick and taking in that face he makes while playing the guitar...almost like he is in pain. Yet she completely understood. She couldn't wipe the smile of wonder off of her face. When the band took a break she turned to me and said, "Mom. Can we go find Brett so I can tell him what a good job he is doing?" I couldn't have been any more in love with that child right then.

As the time went by and it became further and further past bedtime, I began to wonder, "When are these kids going to start getting whiny and break this spell?" The spell was not to be broken. The smiles got more tired but they didn't go anywhere. In the middle of the band's rendition of Sugaree, as Brett picked out the first cords of his guitar solo, Stella reached up and tapped my arm to get my attention. I leaned down close, expecting to hear, "I'm tired", but instead I received a serene, "Mom. I love you."

In this moment, I don't question why I am here in this world, as I sometimes might. I am sure I am here to love these perfect girls, Maya, Isabel and Stella. And I am sure, for once, that I am doing a fantastic fucking job ;)

When asked to tell me what their favorite part of the experience.....

Maya's answer: "The ice cream and having an eight year old look up to me because of my hula hooping."
Isabel's answer: "Making up songs with Brett and Juliana."
Stella's answer: "Dancing at the music and spending time with the baby cuz that baby was the cutest       
                          thing in the world."


This lil bloggy blog is dedicated to Brett, Juliana and baby Suria Wilson....for fostering this fabulous experience.