Daddy Bird

I fight for the underdog. I could never stand it when people got picked on in school. I am remembered fondly for it....and I always feel a bit proud when the subject is brought up. I don't remember feeling brave. I remember feeling MAD. You wanna pin him up against a locker? How do you fucking like it?

You especially didn't want to put your hands on my siblings. They are my first babies. I would still act crazy, to this day, if one of my babies got picked on!! I remember one kid pushed my little brother off the stone wall in our neighborhood. The neighbor and his offending friend hid in their house when I went over to settle the score. I was so pissed off by the time I got on the school bus the next morning that I assaulted BOTH of them. Repeatedly. Slaps in the face for the better part of the bus ride. That shit needed an answer, you heard?? From mama bear.

I got mad at Russell for doing the same thing a weekend or so ago. We were at a bar in Manchester, a totally disgusting little place called Raxx. We decided we wanted to leave early because, frankly, our yard with a fire was more fun than this place. We were saying our goodbyes in the smelly alley, behind the bar, when a friend of a friend, decided that he could probably scale the brick wall, up to a fire escape. At this point, I would like to mention that this partiular wall scaler, is one of the most benign characters I have ever encountered.

He jumped up on the wall, like Spider Man, and got his elbows hooked on the floor of the fire escape. We were all smiling and laughing, "Haha! Nice dude!", when a man walked up under him, grabbed one of his legs and started pulling down on him. "Get off the building, get off the building," he kept saying. Now if you understand the kids position, getting off the building in the manner in which the man wanted him off the building, would have caused him bodily harm. So his only option was to hang on for dear life while his leg got wrenched on.

We all stood there at first. I didn't even realize that the guy was serious until I saw how hard the kid was holding on to avoid getting pulled violently to the ground, from fifteen feet in the air. Once I realized what was happening I immediately ran over and said, "He can't let go until you let go!! Let go!!" My other girlfriend was pleading, "Just ask him to get down!" I am not sure if "Leg Puller" lessened his hold at this point, or the kid miraculously figured out how to navigate the situation, but somehow he freed his leg and dropped to the ground.

"Leg Puller" immediately advances on the gentle wall climber, pinning him against the wall and berating him for climbing on "his building." It seems to me, at this point, that we are dealing with a bully. Bullies advance on gentle souls that allow pricks to back them up against a wall. People like Russell, get in bully's faces. Russell yells, "Hey! Hey!," as the guy tries to ignore him. "Leg Puller" doesn't really want to deal with Russell. No potential to bully unchecked there.

The guy turns to Russell, as he is given no choice. I realize that Russell might end up in jail if things don't go another direction. So I try the old, "Walk away, honey. Lets just leave." I am ignored, the crazy eyes are already on their target. Russell yells, "Can you do me a favor? Only if you have time....GO FUCK YOURSELF!!" The guy's monkey looking girlfriend starts yelling, "You better watch yourself!" And "Leg Puller" is yelling, "Leave! Get out of here." And Russell the whole while, waving his arms, and coming up with hilariously witty and infuriating insults. Chaos.

We somehow get in the car without the fight actually ensuing. Russell had enough sense not to attack without being physically assaulted first, and lets face it, "Leg Puller" wasn't about to open that can of whoop ass. I was furious with Russell. "When I ask you to walk away, YOU WALK AWAY. You have three children to think about. Are you trying to get thrown in jail??" He looks at me and says, "Honey? What was I supposed to do. He had Pete pinned up against the wall. Pete didn't know what to do! It worked too. He left him alone after that."

I realize then, that it wasn't about being a tough guy. It was about protecting our friend who scaled the wrong brick wall. Russell was like the colorful daddy bird, creating a distraction from the nest. He was right too. It did work.

So I am not really sure what the point of this blog was....that we bully bullies? Is that wrong too? I guess if it is wrong, I don't wanna be right :)


Here I am smooshing my baby's face....I really love his ass!!

"Mom. I love you."

I started doing laundry at 3 pm on a Friday and didn't stop until 1 pm on a Saturday, with the exception of five hours of sleep. All the while packing for an overnight camping trip for my entire family of five. The whole morning the kids were super excited to go see Roots of Creation and I was stressing about how much I had to do before we could leave. Which was a disproportionate amount, considering the hours I had already put into the project. I kept thinking, "Once I leave its going to be smooth sailing....just got to get them strapped down in the car."

Amongst a litter of children and mayhem, I packed every little thing I needed and got the laundry well under control.. Getting distracted by fist fights and requests to "wipe my butt please? I wiped three times and its still comin' up brown!!" Or better yet, no request to wipe ass but a holler of "Mom!! Come look at my poop! It looks like a puppy!!" Before I can answer that another squabble ensues as the other sister tries to flush it before the pooper can show off her prize. Constant singing and tv blasting and fights over my phone and my laptop getting kicked over. Me screaming, "Get the fuck out of my house NOW!!" I was so frazzled by the time we were actually rolling down the road, that I didn't even want to go anymore.

The fights from the back seat were ridiculous. "Mom, her arm is touching my arm." "Mom!! Her hair keeps touching me." I am sure there were more but some of it is blocked out for sanity purposes. While they were stressing me out in the outside world, I was in my own head....worrying about keeping track of my kids in a crowd of potential kidnappers. The irony here is that while these little girls whine and drive me crazy, with no apparent thought of how badly it is stressing me out, I am imagining how devastating my life would be without them.

We picked up daddy, (my king and savior), on the way and finally arrived at Julie's house. The kids started playing drums and rattles and singing. I asked Julie if she was worried that they were going to break her bongo....she wasn't. I was nervous that they were annoying the other people at the party with their loud singing, drum banging, tambourine shaking, etc. I hovered a bit and then came to grips with the fact that these people were enjoying my children. Immensely.

And then I started enjoying my children, as well. I couldn't go five minutes without someone telling me how amazing they thought my children were. This one hula hoops so well, this one sings so well, this one is so smart....and I felt a twinge of guilt for how short I had been with these amazing children all day!! What would these people think of me kicking them out of their own house or yelling, "I don't want to look at your poop!! I don't care how cute it is!!"

We arrived at the concert and set our blankets up on the grass. The kids started hula hooping and playing with all my friends. There were grown ass people playing "butterfly catcher", a game consisting of one person chasing another person, while trying to catch said person, inside a hula hoop. Girls young and old, rolling in the grass, giggling hysterically. Believe it or not, the best is yet to come.

The music started.

I have always loved Roots of Creation but to watch my kids soak it in with all the wonder of a baby seeing something for the first time, was enough to erase infinity stressful days. Maya was hula hooping exactly in time with the music, pleased as punch at all the impressed faces noticing her mad skills. Isabel was dancing with the beloved Tina and running back and forth to give Julie and Suria, (the coveted new baby), hugs and kisses. And Stella. Just staring at every move that Brett made, humming the tune to herself, and rocking in perfect time with the beat. Right up front. Just like mama.

Maya and Isabel got tired of the scene up front and kept going back to the blanket to do various things like, learn sign language from Sam, or talk about what they wanted to be when they grew up, or whatever else those silly adult ladies could come up with to entertain my children. Let me tell you, they came up with alot.

But Stella. All she wanted to do was go back to study Brett's every little finger pick and taking in that face he makes while playing the guitar...almost like he is in pain. Yet she completely understood. She couldn't wipe the smile of wonder off of her face. When the band took a break she turned to me and said, "Mom. Can we go find Brett so I can tell him what a good job he is doing?" I couldn't have been any more in love with that child right then.

As the time went by and it became further and further past bedtime, I began to wonder, "When are these kids going to start getting whiny and break this spell?" The spell was not to be broken. The smiles got more tired but they didn't go anywhere. In the middle of the band's rendition of Sugaree, as Brett picked out the first cords of his guitar solo, Stella reached up and tapped my arm to get my attention. I leaned down close, expecting to hear, "I'm tired", but instead I received a serene, "Mom. I love you."

In this moment, I don't question why I am here in this world, as I sometimes might. I am sure I am here to love these perfect girls, Maya, Isabel and Stella. And I am sure, for once, that I am doing a fantastic fucking job ;)

When asked to tell me what their favorite part of the experience.....

Maya's answer: "The ice cream and having an eight year old look up to me because of my hula hooping."
Isabel's answer: "Making up songs with Brett and Juliana."
Stella's answer: "Dancing at the music and spending time with the baby cuz that baby was the cutest       
                          thing in the world."


This lil bloggy blog is dedicated to Brett, Juliana and baby Suria Wilson....for fostering this fabulous experience.