Jane had just worked overtime that week at her two jobs as an RN. She was feeling bad about all the time missed with her small children. She was ready to spend some of that overtime money spoiling her family. They were excited to go out as a family and spend time together. At least that was the plan.
Shortly after they were seated, the baby needed to nurse. As her mother, Jane was hoping that she could get the baby sleeping, or at least pacified in some way, before her meal came. Moms out there: you know you have all been there.
Jane was wearing a nursing bra, a tanktop and a little white cardigan covering her arms. Her breasts are large, so her upper breast was showing. If you were having a hard time minding your own business, you might have seen her entire breast, right before latch on but after that she was not showing any more breast than the low cut shirts over in the bar area.
But, lets be honest. The quick moment her breast was exposed to latch the baby on is not the issue. It was the fact that the upper part of her breast was showing for a reason OTHER than showing them off for sexual purposes. People have also commented on the fact that the baby was on the table. There was not enough room between the booth and the table for the baby to fit so she was left with laying the baby partially on the table. The baby on the table was not the move of an exhibitionist, it was the move of a flipping fantastic mother, who was doing what she had to do to comfort and nourish her child.
The waitress that approached the table, Jody, is known for being rude. People avoid the restaurant on days that she works....I know. I used to work there. On that note, when I gave my two weeks notice, her response was, "Why? So you can collect more food stamps?" The only reason she knew about my assistance at that time was because I had to turn in an income verification form to keep my benefits. I quit on the spot when I realized that my personal business had been a topic of conversation behind my back at the restaurant. So this is the woman that we are all supposed to believe handled the situation with any kind of tact?
She approached the table and told my sister she needed to cover up. Jane balked, obviously offended and unwilling to comply. That should have been the end of it. It wasn't. This know-it-all twit stood over her and offered to get her a napkin, telling her that she was confusing people's children. Who could enjoy a meal after that? She did not ask Jane to leave but she was not taking no for an answer. Jane left the restaurant to get away from her. She was very upset. Understandably upset.
She then went home and did what alot of people do....she complained about it, in a status on facebook. From there it took on a life of its own. People got together and a nurse in was organized.Turns out women feel strongly about their right to nurse without being confronted and harassed.
The Concord Monitor has put out an article titled, "State Law is on the side of nursing mom." This law was put in place so women don't have to put up with this condenscending behavior. The attitude "she chose to breastfeed in public so she gets what she gets" is the reason that the law was put in place. To protect my sister and other mothers who need to feed their babies.
My sister works full time in a hospital and part time in a local nursing home as a registered nurse. During the protest there were drunken hecklers from the restaurant porch yelling about how she was on welfare and she was doing all of this to catch a check. As I write this, I realize for the first time....these comments probably stem from my experience there seven or eight years ago, as an employee. A young single mother, in school full time, on "the foodstamps" who they all loved to talk about. Wow. I guess their comments make a little more sense now...not much more but, wow.
While we held our signs celebrating breastfeeding on the sidewalk, Jody started taunting, "Hi Jane, Hi Jane" over and over again until my sister finally acknowledged her with a guarded, "Hi Jody." The waitress's response? A sarcastic, catty "Do you need a napkin?" followed by a peal of laughter. Laughter shared by another bartender from the same establishment. This comment was one of the last things that the waitress said to Jane, before Jane walked out of the restaurant that day. Compare that to the act she put on for the camera on the local news station.
The behavior exhibited on the porch towards nursing mothers, some with older children in tow, was what was disgusting, not my sister nursing her baby in preparartion for a peaceful dinner."Dirty bags", "feeder", "immoral", the list goes on....one guy even yelled, "What about my right not to see that shit??" These are not the actions of reasonable people. People that are capable of this behavior are not fooling anybody into believing that the situation was approached with any understanding or politeness.
The emotional toll this has taken on my sister has been devastating to watch. All she was doing was nursing her child and now she is in national headlines. She's trending on yahoo, for crying out loud!! She never thought that standing up for her rights would turn into something so big. My sister doesn't want to be a pioneer for breastfeeding mothers or women's rights. In fact, she just broke down in tears on Friday morning, saying "I don't want any of this, I just wanted to nurse my baby and eat my dinner." She has been bullied. She is eight years younger than me and really, she is my first baby. I love her so much.
I guess I can understand why some of the people that frequent this restaurant and their employees have participated in the name calling and less than enlightened banter coming off of that porch that day. This restaurant is the only consistent restaurant in town that has a bar and they don't have anywhere else to hang out. This group has hopped on this small bandwagon and demonized my sister. Keep telling eachother that my sister is a slutty breastfeeder, so you can justify your behavior. You could have probably kept your mouth shut and still hung out there but then maybe you wouldn't be as popular.
To all the women sitting on that porch participating, or not participating but making your stance clear by what side of the fence (literally) that you were standing on, you are welcome. Because my sister and I, along with other like minds, were fighting for your rights and your daughter's rights, as well. As Madeleine Albright, former U.S. Secretary of State said, "There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women." I guess there is a special place in heaven for the rest of us? ;)
This baby looks positively scandalized!! What?? A napkin?? ON MY HEAD??
Nurse on all you pretty mamas....cuz I got your back. Especially you Janie Bird.
Love,
Dorothy
